


my future & my past

by ItsKarla



Category: Emmerdale, robron
Genre: Boys In Love, Falling In Love, Friends to Lovers, It‘s a Dryan fic!, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Supernatural Elements, adorable boys, dryan - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-22
Updated: 2020-11-17
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:55:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25444279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ItsKarla/pseuds/ItsKarla
Summary: Danny is about to get back to Emmerdale, he is excited for the future when suddenly his world gets thrown out of joint.Ryan really loves his life, but meeting Danny makes him question everything. What is he willing to give up?———This is a Dryan fic, because we need one, right?(I tagged Aaron/Robert to make it easier to find)
Relationships: Aaron Dingle/Robert Sugden, Ryan Hawley/Danny Miller
Comments: 22
Kudos: 45





	1. Thunder

**Author's Note:**

> So I had this idea and had to write it down.  
> Sarah encouraged me to post it here.

The thunder starts as a low grumble, but it gets louder quickly until it roars above their heads, then it starts crackling before it breaks like a wave that hit the shore.

Danny looks up to the sky that was leaden all day long. Now it is darkening, charcoal grey clouds are looming above them. It is still warm, the air is so humid and muggy, it makes him sweat although he is just standing on the parking place. No doubt the summer storm will set in soon, it is best to get home quick.

_Maybe I can make it, before it’s starting to piss._

“Mate, I’ll better go. See ya tomorrow, yeah?” he says to Adam.

His friend gives him one of his trademark dopey grins in return. “Fucking hell, mate, it’s so good to have you back! Can’t wait to filming with you again tomorrow!” 

Adam offers his hand and Danny claps in and pulls him close. They start patting each others shoulders and damn, it _does_ feel good to be back!

Danny took a break from his role in Emmerdale, to dip his toe in into the wide sea of acting business outside his itv family. It was okay, but he missed his colleagues, his steady job and he missed playing Aaron - the sassy, grumpy git that he became proper fund of. When he got the call from Kate Oates to come back with the prospect of a big storyline, he said yes in a heartbeat. 

And here he is now, standing outside of the studios of itv, where he is about to start filming again tomorrow. The fact that he will be having scenes with Adam is like a cherry on top. 

“Yeah, same! Ah, it’s been too long, honestly.” 

“Give your old man a hug from me, will ya?”

“Sure thing. Send Caroline my love. How’s she anyway?” Danny asks, well knowing that his friend’s wife is very pregnant and very moody at the moment.

Adam grimaces and shrugs. “I mean, yeah, fine. I’ll better hurry home as well, I promised her a foot rub before dinner.”

“Eww,” Danny snorts, shuddering, “see ya tomorrow!” he grins and walks towards his car.

Another lightning flares up on the sky, they are coming more frequently now. Much more frequently.

_Bloody fucking summer storm._

The traffic on the M62 will be horrible once the rain sets in, Danny just _knows_ it and groans. He starts the radio on his drive home, sings along the Spin Doctors and Eminem, before they start a song he doesn’t know. 

_So all I need_

_Is a time machine_

_A one way track_

_'Cause I'm taking it back, taking it back_

_All I want is a DeLorean_

_If I could go just like that_

_I'll be taking it back, taking it back_

_  
_The woman’s voice blurts through his car, when his phone rings. A quick look on the screen tells him it’s his dad and he puts him on speaker.

“Hiya!” He has to raise his voice, because it just started raining and the drops are drumming on his car.

“Hello, this is Vince Miller!“

Danny snorts because this is so typical. His dad will probably never learn how to use his iPhone properly, no matter how often he told him before.

“Dad, I know it’s you,” he rolls his eyes, but can’t keep the smile back.

“Stop rolling your eyes, Daniel,” his father replies and how he always _knows_ things like that is kinda creepy, honestly. “I just wanted to…”

A lightning cuts from the left to the right across the sky, almost immediately followed by the deafening sound of a thunder.

“Sorry dad, what did you say?” Danny shouts above the noises, “there was a really loud thunder, I couldn’t hear anything.” 

He has to speed up his wipers and slow down his car, 

_Fuck_!

-he can barely see anything because of the heavy rain. 

“I just wanted to say that you should drive carefully! They said a storm is going to hit us!“ Vince shouts back.

He chuckles quietly, shakes his head and bites his lip before he answers: „Okay, dad. Noted.” 

There is a short silence, filled with loud patter of the rain on his roof, where he tries to concentrate on his driving as he can’t really see the road anymore. Everything is just a blur. 

“When will you be home? Your mum is asking because of the food,” Vince asks him and Danny glances at the watch.

“Err… 30 minutes, maybe 45. I have to slow down a bit here.”

“No worries. Alright. Drive carefully.”

“Will do!” he shouts. “Bye, dad!” 

An _I love you_ is on his lips, but he doesn’t say it, he just thinks it. 

He is not 12 anymore. 

The line goes dead and that pop song is fading up again. Danny wishes he had a DeLorean too, he would definitely jump in time to being home already and eating dinner, instead of driving like a snail over the motorway. 

Suddenly there is a white light, it is so bright, he has to squeeze his eyes shut but it still _hurts_ his eyes! Then he hears the roar of a thunder again and he never experienced a thunder so loud before in his whole _life_ , so loud, it makes his ears ring. His heartbeat speeds up with fear, because-

_Something‘s not right somethings not right somethingsnotright_

And then. Everything goes black.

~~~

“C‘mon, be a good girl, c‘mere!“ Ryan taps his leg and it doesn‘t take three seconds until Lola sits right beside him.

“Good girl!” He bends down and strokes her little head. 

She lets the little stick drop on the grass, barks in response and looks at him, clearly demanding another round. He laughs and grabs the branch.

“One last time,“ he gives her a fair warning before he throws it.

His chest swells with pride when Lola stays put next to him although he can see her tiny body tensing up. Only when he gives the command she starts running after the stick to fetch it. She is small, but woah, is she a quick little devil. Ryan trained a lot with her during the last year. The results are amazing, Lola is the most well-behaved dog in the whole village, even more well-behaved than some of the children are. 

Ryan closes his eyes and cranes his head towards the sun. He loves the warmth on his skin. Lola‘s paws are thumping over the ground and the air smells of flowers and hay. It was really an amazing summer day so far and Ryan loves being outside. 

Suddenly he hears a loud thunder, ear-shattering loud, like it‘s right above his head. He jerks and tears his eyes open-

_How the hell did I miss an upcoming storm??_

-but there is nothing. The sky is the brightest blue, there is not one single cloud up there.

But the thunder is still rolling, grumbling. He can _hear_ it.

Ryan frowns, turns around, searching everywhere for a sign of a sudden weather change. There is none.

_How is this possible?!_

Lola is next to him again, howling miserably. Her tail is between her legs and her body is shaking.

“I know, baby, I don‘t like this either,“ he sighs and lifts her up.

If it wasn‘t for the ringing in his ears, Ryan would be convinced he just imagined it. But, the ringing is there. He sighs again, kisses Lola on the head and holds her close to his chest.

“C‘mon Lo, let‘s go home.“

He walks over the green field towards the road, still thinking about that strange thunder. Was there even a lightning? Ryan is pretty sure there wasn’t, but then again - does a thunder exist without a lightning? He‘ll do a little research to find some answers later, he decides and feels immediately better.

The closer he comes to the road the more fidgety becomes Lola in his arms. Her claws dig into his skin, almost ruin his shirt.

“Ow, Lola! Stop it! What‘s up?“

His well-behaved dog doesn‘t listen, instead she keeps whining louder and struggles harder. Ryan lets out an expletive he doesn‘t use often and puts her back on the ground before she shreds his clothes. She runs away immediately and yeah, that‘s unexpected, because he trained a lot with her so she just doesn’t do things like that.

“Lola! Lola! Come back here!“ he shouts after her.

There goes well-behaved, Lola obviously doesn‘t care. Ryan follows her with his eyes, until he realises-

_She‘s running towards the road!_

-and there is a car approaching! Of course right now is someone driving along this usually so quiet street. The panic grabs Ryan harsh and sudden, his body flushes hot and his guts start twisting.

“Lola, stop! C‘mere! Oi!“

He chases after her, but she is so fast and the car is coming closer and closer. Luckily, Lola doesn‘t run on the street, she stops abruptly right at the edge and starts barking and howling in turns. When Ryan reaches her, he sees why. In the knee-high gras is lying something.

_Not something. Someone._

This looks like a body. Ryan spots hands and shoes and yeah, it _is_ definitely a body. And holy sweet mother Mary, there is blood, so much of it! On the man‘s belly and on his right leg are two red puddles and they are growing quickly.

Ryan sinks to the ground and his first instinct is to check if that man is still alive. He lets out a relieved gasp when he notices the chest heaving and sinking. 

_The blood. I have to stop the bleeding._

He presses his hands on the wound of the stomach, but that still leaves the problem of the right leg.

“Oh lord, what happened to him?“

The new voice startles him and his head flips around. There’s a man next to him, looking down at the bleeding stranger. 16 feet away Ryan sees an empty car with an open door at the side of the road. It must be the car that had been coming down the road, the driver must have stopped to offer help.

“I don’t know, but he‘s bleeding. He needs help quickly!“ Ryan explains frantic. 

The man just keeps staring wide-eyed at the man on the ground, he doesn‘t move an inch. Ryan decides there is no time for being in shock, that man‘s life depends on it. 

“Now!“ he yells at the driver who finally springs to life.

“Yeah, sure! I‘ll get help! I‘ll get help!“

Ryan hears him running towards his car, and his focus gets back on the man and the blood. Damn, he needs like four hands for this instead of two. If he only could stop the blood from flooding into the right leg…

_My belt!_

He pulls out the belt of his trousers, tries as best as he can to ignore how smeary his hands are, because of all the foreign blood on his skin. Ryan puts the belt around the leg right above the wound and pulls, then he kneels on the leather band to get his hands free again. When he presses them against the belly again, he hears a groan.

It‘s the man. He tries to move and his eyes flutter open.

“Don‘t move,“ Ryan shushes him, “help is on it‘s way. Just hang on, yeah?“

The eyes are looking around, disorientated, and finally settle on him. Ryan sees pain and panic, all drowned in so much blue. 

Lola thankfully doesn‘t bark anymore, but she is still whining and starts licking the strangers hand as if she wants to comfort him too.

Bless his little girl. 

“It‘s gonna be okay,“ Ryan says and prays that it‘s true. 

The man _cannot_ die under his hands! The stranger groans one more time before he loses conscience again. Hopefully help will be here soon. 

Ryan lets his eyes wander over the man beneath him. He looks strange. Common is being either clean shaved or having a moustache, but this lad has a _stubble_. And then his clothes. The man wears a black shirt with pink birds on it, that Ryan never has seen before. They have a huge bill and are standing on one leg. The craziest are the stranger‘s shoes though. Ryan didn’t know anything like that exists, with different colours and all. And also the shape and that material, that is definitely not leather. 

_Weird._

When he hears the doctor approaching, he relaxes slightly. The man is still breathing and Ryan did everything he could.

~~~

Danny feels something soft at first. It takes a while until he realises that it‘s a bed he‘s lying on. 

_What?_

He was just sitting in his car speaking to his dad and listening to music, he can‘t remember arriving home and getting in his bed?! Weird. Then he realises something different. 

Pain. Pain, in his belly but especially in his leg. 

He tries to open his eyes, but his brain is foggy, it feels like it‘s booting up. It takes him a while until he can blink and clear his vision.

His right leg is bandaged, from his waist downwards. And he _is_ lying on a bed indeed, but it‘s not his bed at home. The sheets are white and the bed is small. Danny sees white metal rods at the footboard.

The room he‘s in is mostly white and sparse. His bed is next to the window on the right and on his left is a folding screen with white fabric. 

It‘s strange, it looks like a hospital, but then again it doesn‘t. He knows the typical bedside trolleys they have in every hospital - here it‘s a small wooden table. Freaking flipping _wooden_. 

A door opens somewhere, but Danny can‘t see what‘s happening because of the folder. He hears people talking, but their voices are dull and muffled and his own ears are bloody ringing because-

_The thunder. The thunderstorm._

He remembers a bit now. The roaring noise, the white light.

“You look definitely better today,“ Danny hears a male voice speaking up, “I think you can go home today, Mr Brown.“

More muffled voices, then the talking comes closer, stops right behind the folder.

“So, Mr Cooper, how are you today?“ the man with the loud voice asks.

The doctor? And obviously they are three patients in the room.

_Thanks for the privacy, guys!_

Danny can’t help but feeling bitter. He pays a shitload of money for his private insurance to get a single room when he needs to go to hospital. Sure he is ‘just’ a soap actor in the eyes of some, but still. He doesn‘t need an audience when he‘s injured, it will probably go straight to social media. Great. Just great.

“Alright, the infection looks much better now, we‘re going to keep you another day and then we‘ll see, yeah?“

People walk around the folder to his bed and Danny starts snorting as soon as he sees them, because-

_What the fuck?!_

One of them is an older bloke, with a declining hairline, and the funny thing are his glasses, they are tiny just like the size of his eyeballs and the frame is made of thin metal. The other person is a young woman and she looks like she‘s just jumped out of a costume store. She‘s wearing a brown linen shirt under her white nursery dress that reaches almost the floor. And on her head is a _cap_. A freaking cap. 

“I see the patient is awake,“ the doctor comments his snicker with a dry expression.

And that sentence kills his laughter in a heartbeat.

“How long-” Danny has to clear his throat, because his voice is just a hoarse whisper. “How long was I out?“

“Three days.“

Three days.

Three days.

_THREE DAYS._

Danny has no time to process this, because the doctor speaks to him and the nurse is touching his arm, apparently to check his pulse.

“...your name, son?“

“Daniel Miller,“ he says, feeling numb.

Everything seems so unreal, that room, the costumes. 

“Is this a prank?“ he blurts out.

Of course, it has to be! Probably to create some headlines around his comeback to Emmerdale. What a wicked idea of their social media team and they definitely did an awesome job considering how bloody good that doctor and that nurse are acting.

_And all the details!_

“Excuse me?“ the doctor asks, blinking at him.

“Come on, guys! Where are the hidden cameras, eh? Is Adam behind this? I bet he is!“ Danny says and laughs shakily.

Phew, they almost had him panicking. The doctor comes closer, looks him in the eye with a deep frown.

“Signs of a concussion,” he mutters and writes it down on a sheet he is holding in his hands.

Danny wants to protest, shifts in his bed and-

_Fucking hell!_

That was a bad idea. Pain is spreading from his belly through his whole body and a shout escapes his mouth before he can stop himself.

“Stay still, don’t move too much,” the nurse says, squeezes his arm and gives him a small smile.

The pain is real. 

The pain is real.

It’s real.

A very bad feeling takes ahold of his whole body, makes his gut hot and heavy, clenches tightly around his chest. This is wrong. Danny’s got no idea what is happening here, he only knows that it’s fucking _wrong_.

“You were bleeding out of your abdomen and your leg, we had to take you into surgery. Now we have to be very careful to not get the wounds infected, it looks good so far, but your healing process might take a little.”

“I wanna talk to my dad,” Danny croakes out. His voice doesn’t sound like his own.

“Sure you do. Just give us his number and Hannah can call him for you,” the doctor nods towards the nurse.

He tells them his father’s name and his phone number, but the doctor stops writing and looks up from his sheet. There is this expression again, this deep frown, that Danny definitely doesn’t like. 

“This can’t be a correct telephone number, Mr Miller,” he says eventually.

“What? What do you mean? It’s his mobile number, I know his number, okay?” Danny insists. 

There is a weight on his chest, cutting of his ability to breathe in normally. The doctor and nurse Hannah exchange a long, meaningful look that makes Danny‘s guts twist slowly.

“Maybe consequences of the concussion?“ Hannah asks quietly.

He wants to shout at them that his brain is the only thing that‘s normal here, that everything else is fucking wrong, but there‘s nothing coming out. 

“We‘ll check on you again, son, better get some rest in the meantime,“ the doctor says, patting his good leg.

He turns to leave and so does Hannah, but Danny grabs her arm to make her stay. He wants to ask her what the hell was happening, why everyone is acting so damn weird, why this hospital room looks like from a history movie. But the words are stuck in his throat, because this is _ridiculous._

“Can I have some water and a newspaper, please?“ he asks instead.

He is tired all of a sudden. His body feels like it weighs a ton. Danny just wants to sleep and then go home, pretend nothing of this ever happened.

Maybe he _has_ a concussion or something, maybe he had accident. Maybe this is just the craziest, most fucked up dream he ever had.

A few minutes later the nurse is back, putting a glass of water on his freaking _wooden_ nightstand, handing over the newspaper, smiling at him and leaving again.

Danny‘s skin gets hot and then cold, his fingers start shaking. He can barely read that newspaper. 

Because he can barely decipher the letters.

This isn‘t bloody Times New Roman, this is some ancient font he has seen in documentaries about the World Wars. 

It‘s not the text that freaks him out in the end. What freaks him out is the date in the top right corner.

_This can‘t be true this can‘t be true, this is NOT possible_

But it’s there, black on white.

11.07.1911


	2. A place

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is a short silence and the dark haired man starts looking around, desperate.
> 
> “Are you alright?“
> 
> Ryan has to ask this. This is the man whose life he tried to save after all. He feels weirdly protective and responsible.
> 
> “I just wanna go home,“ the man says and it‘s barely a whisper. He looks lost. 
> 
> “Where do you live? I live in town, I could walk with you if it‘s the same direction,“ Ryan offers.
> 
> He knows he‘ll get in trouble with Daisy for being late again, but he can‘t help it. There is something about this stranger, something that makes him ache deep in his heart. He has to help this man somehow.
> 
> The blue eyes lock with his own again and it knocks the breath out of Ryan‘s lungs. There is so much panic and fear, it‘s almost unbearable.
> 
> ———  
> Danny tries to understand what happened.  
> Ryan meets the stranger again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the three people who are enjoying a Dryan fic just like I do 😄
> 
> (Robron are just tagged to make it easier to find)

“Where have you been?“

Daisy rushes out on the porch where he sits with Lola, stroking her short fur. Ryan turns towards her and whistles when he takes her in. She looks absolutely beautiful with her brown long hair, her smooth skin and that long turquoise dress.

“You look lovely,“ he tells her and smiles.

Her face lights up at that, she stops and turns on the spot.

“It‘s new!“ she tells him and spreads the skirt with both hands.

Daisy loves clothes, loves to buy dresses, loves to sew them herself, loves to present them. Ryan is not too keen on clothes, but well, if his fiancé is happy then he is happy too. 

They have known each other since they were kids, grew up together as their families were neighbours. Everybody expected them to end up together at some point and that’s what they did.

When Daisy‘s parents decided to emigrate to Brazil, she rather wanted to stay in England, but it was unheard for a woman to live alone so Ryan asked her to marry him and she agreed in a heartbeat.

He puts Lola down, gets up and leans in to give her a kiss, but she pulls back and rests her hands flat against his chest.

“You should wash yourself first,“ she says and she smiles, but it still stings.

He ducks his head and looks down. Yeah, he‘s been outside today, it‘s not that he is dirty or something though. Maybe his fingers are a bit mucky. Ryan sighs at the sight of the black stains under his nails, he knows Daisy hates this.

“Sorry,“ he mutters.

“And get changed, will you?“ she says sweetly and he nods. “The guests will be here in an hour.“

He almost forgot about that dinner party. Daisy invited friends over tonight, maybe they would even go for a dance later.

“I could cook?“ he offers eagerly, because there is this new recipe he wants to try.

“Don‘t be silly,“ Daisy laughs and pats his chest, “George already started cooking. Now go, get ready, I‘ll sort your suit for you if you like?“

Apparently his cooking is only good enough on two days a week, on the other days Daisy insists on the chef, although he really wouldn‘t mind doing it, the opposite in fact. 

Ryan sighs again. To be honest, he imagined meeting his fiancé after being away the whole day a bit differently. 

“Sure,“ he replies to her question and walks into the house. 

  
  
  


The dinner party is nice, of course it is, Daisy planned it after all. The table looks lovely with all the fresh flowers, George‘s food is amazing - roasted salmon on vegetables, Ryan‘s favourite - and Daisy switched the gramophone in the living room on, the music sounds with a perfect volume in their dining room.

Everything is perfect.

Ryan thinks about his plants. This summer's too hot and definitely way to dry, he wonders what it will do to the vegetables and fruits he‘s growing. The cauliflower is suffering and the fennel too. He waters them daily, but still, the sun is blasting nonstop and it hasn‘t rained for weeks. The harvest will be pretty poor this year. 

That brings him back to the thunder he witnessed a week ago. He still wants to research if a thunder is possible without lightning. Ryan makes a mental note to go to the library in Leeds and look it up. 

_And the stranger? Did he survive?_

From time to time the man slips into his mind. He wonders not just how he was doing by now, he also thinks about what his name is, where he‘s from. And he thinks about those blue eyes and the intense look they gave him. 

“Ryan?“

He startles when he hears his name and looks around, blinking. All eyes are on him, as if they are expecting him to say something.

“Pardon?“ he says, not sure what the latest topic was.

“We were discussing the Parliament Act,“ Daisy says.

_Oh. Politics._

Ryan tenses slightly, because he really doesn‘t follow that stuff closely. He mostly justs reads the headlines in the newspaper to be generally informed about what‘s going on, but that‘s about it. His knowledge is on thin ice, it‘s definitely Daisy‘s field more than his.

“I think it‘s a good thing,” he says vaguely and hopes that it‘s enough.

Apparently it is, because his friends continue their talk without giving him weird looks. Ryan relaxes again, lets out a long but quiet breath.

_I should get slats and a sheet, maybe I can build an awning for the plants._

~~~

Danny just lies on his bed and stares into nothing. He is trapped in some awful never ending nightmare. He was waiting for the camera team to jump out of their hide-out, confirming that everything was just the most realistic prank ever. He waited. And waited.

It‘s 8 days now and he stopped waiting. 

_Nineteenfuckinghundredfuckingeleven._

Things are so different here. The medical procedures are poor, definitely not the standard he is used to. The fact that his wounds aren‘t infected yet is like a small miracle. Touch wood, the doc says it looks good so far.

The food is horrible too, they get soup and bread every day, sometimes with meat, mostly without. Nobody asked him if he eats meat, 1911 knows no vegetarians or vegans or lactose intolerance (not that he is either of those, but still). 

But all that is not the worst. The worst was when he tried to call his dad. Hannah helped him into a wheelchair and pushed him into the hallway. It was the first time Danny saw something other than the white walls of his room. 

Everything was puristic and simple, and also pretty small. Danny reckoned he was in a small town. He heard people talking about tuberculosis, diphtheria and typhus. It was so bloody unreal. 

The telephone was black and huge and Danny has seen phones like that in history books in school. He dialed with shaky fingers, but the number wasn‘t known. He dialed again. And again. He _knew_ this was the right number.

It didn‘t exist.

His _dad_ _didn‘t_ _exist_. He will be born in 24 years. 

And that was it, Danny had only so much self control, he broke down in the hallway of that horrible shithole, crying and sobbing terribly. Hannah tried to comfort him, but he pushed her away, not able to think straight. Only when he heard that they wanted to sedate him with Opium to prevent him from tearing his stitches, did he give up.

The doctor wheeled him back into his room, then three people put him back into his bed. Danny let it happen, let everything happen. It didn‘t matter. He heard the doctor say words like ‘amnesia’ and ‘brain damage’ to Hannah, but Danny just closed his eyes and pretended to sleep. 

He’s not got amnesia. 

He remembers everything.

And that‘s the problem, because it drives him insane. He thinks about Adam and his colleagues, wonders what they did after he didn‘t show up for work. Dan is on his mind, constantly. His best mate is like his brother and he misses him terribly. And his parents of course, god, that thought hurts the most. His mum must be sick with worry and his dad…

Danny suddenly can‘t breathe anymore. Why didn‘t he just say ‘I love you’ to his dad when he had the chance? What if this was the last time he ever spoke to him? He clenches his fist on his chest and tries to get some air in.

He’s had panic attacks in the past, he knows them. Danny wants to calm himself down, there are certain counting techniques, but everytime it looks like he might succeed, he sees his dad‘s face in front of his inner eye. It kills him. 

Danny leans over to grab the glass with water from his nightstand, but his shaking hand just pushes it to the ground. He lets out some distressed noise when everything gets blurry.

The next thing he notices is a cold cloth on his forehead and gentle hands checking his pulse.

“That‘s alright, Daniel, you‘re doing better again.“

Hannah is beside him, helping him to calm down, and it takes an awfully long time until he is there, back to normal breathing.

“I‘ll call the doctor,“ she finally says.

“No! No wait!“ he gasps, “Not necessary.“

“But you just had some sort of seizure…“

“Look, it‘s not-... it‘s over again. I‘m fine, you can check my heartbeat,“ Danny insists.

The last thing he wants is another pointless exam, he just wants to sleep. Hannah gives him a long look and then she does check his heartbeat and pulse again.

“Okay,“ she sighs eventually, “I‘ll let it go. _This time!_ If it happens again, I-”

“It won‘t!“ he cuts her off.

It won‘t. Because he‘s not staying here much longer. He can‘t just lay around, it slowly drives him insane. He needs to find a way home, to his family, his friends, his job and his charity. People rely on him, he has to get back.

Hannah nods, but she looks a bit sad now. He can basically see the little cogs turning in her head. Danny and her got a bit closer during the past days, he really likes her and he thinks it‘s mutual. She‘s worried for him and he gets it.

But he‘s got a mission now - getting back home. Having a goal, a purpose, feels good. For the first time since he woke up, he has hope. When he got here somehow, he could go back as well. 

“Do you have clothes you could...err… I dunno, borrow me or something? From a clothing donation maybe?“ Danny asks carefully.

He has no idea if stuff like that was common in 1911. Fuck, he doesn’t know much at all about this world that‘s still about to face two World Wars. It‘s crazy.

“Yeah, sure,“ she smiles and Danny relaxes. 

It‘ll be nice wearing something different than this awful hospital gown again. His own clothes got cut into pieces when they put him into surgery. Nothing from his ‘old life’ is left here. He has no phone, no pictures of his family, no wallet, no ID card. 

He is no one here. He is not even born.

Danny swallows a lump in his throat back down and closes his eyes to stop them from burning.

~~~

Ryan picks a raspberry, throws it up and catches it with his mouth. The fruit tastes bitter and sweet at the same time, perfect. He chews slowly and closes his eyes, listening to the sounds of the wind, the rustling of the leaves, the patter of the small stream and Lola sniffing around.

The little allotment outside of the town is his happy place. It isn‘t really big, but it‘s not small either, the size is just perfect to grow vegetables and fruits. And he loves the cottage, a stoney little house, with one small room. Ryan bought a sofa and a small table and a cosy blanket to make it somewhat homey, but he doesn‘t spend much time inside anyway. He’d rather sit outside in the shade.

Just like now, as he’s taking a break from today’s work. Ryan spent all morning raking and watering the plants. Carrying the watering can back and forth made his muscles ache and the little rest feels amazing. He grabs a tomato and bites in it like it‘s an apple and makes a mental note to pick the tomatoes, cucumbers and radishes before he leaves later. That‘s going to make a nice salad tonight. 

When the sun begins to go down, he sighs and picks up the veggies. 

“C‘mon Lo, let‘s go home!“

The dog looks up at him at that and pants loudly. They walk across the fields and play fetch, Ryan starts sweating quickly, because it‘s one of those summer evenings where the temperatures simply won‘t go down.

Suddenly Lola throws the stick away and takes off. Ryan watches her running through the grass and he has a deja-vu that hits him deep, hot and heavy in his guts.

_The day when Lola found the stranger._

That face of the other man flashes up in his mind, the dark curls, the scruff, the blue eyes. The haunted look in them.

“Lola! Stop! C‘mere!“ he shouts after her.

But just like two and a half weeks ago, his dog won‘t listen. Lola runs towards the street _again_. For a very long moment Ryan is convinced he’ll find another person lying half dead at the side of the road, but then he sees a man walking around.

It‘s not just a random man, it’s _the_ man, Ryan realises when he comes closer. That scruff is truly memorable. 

The stranger looks different now though, he wears brown linen trousers, a grey shirt and black braces. It‘s kinda weird seeing him like this, although it‘s normal clothing. He was the man with the funny birds on his shirt and strange shoes in Ryan‘s head. 

Right now the man walks up and down, slightly limping, he is muttering something and ruffling his own hair.

He looks tense.

_Maybe he isn‘t right in the head. Maybe he has fled from a sanatorium or something._

Ryan read about those homes for the mentally ill, he knows enough to prepare himself for a possible danger. He just wants to get Lola and head home.

His little dog has approached the stranger now and sniffs at his leg, which causes him to stop. Ryan watches how the man squats down slowly and pats her gently.

“Lola! Come here, girl!“ 

The stranger startles and straightens immediately. Ryan is close enough now to have a better look at the man. Not only the clothes are different now, his face as well. His eyes are bloodshot and his cheeks red and puffy. 

_He‘s been crying._

Ryan‘s heart breaks a little, when he sees nothing but pure pain and horror in these incredibly sad blue eyes. The man looks haunted again. 

“Hello,“ he says and points at his dog, “apologies, if that little devil has disturbed you.“

“S alright,“ the man replies and his voice sounds hoarse. “Hi.“

There is a short silence and the dark haired man starts looking around, desperate.

“Are you alright?“

Ryan _has_ to ask this. This is the man whose life he tried to save after all. He feels weirdly protective and responsible.

“I just wanna go home,“ the man says and it‘s barely a whisper. He looks lost. 

“Where do you live? I live in town, I could walk with you if it‘s the same direction,“ Ryan offers.

He knows he‘ll get in trouble with Daisy for being late again, but he can‘t help it. There is something about this stranger, something that makes him ache deep in his heart. He has to help this man somehow.

The blue eyes lock with his own again and it knocks the breath out of Ryan‘s lungs. There is so much panic and fear, it‘s almost unbearable.

“I don‘t know, I don‘t know,“ the man mutters, “I just wanna go home, but I don‘t know how, I don‘t know how.“

_Amnesia._

It has to be some sort of amnesia, it occurs to Ryan. He only remembers blood on the leg and stomach, but maybe there had been an invisible brain damage as well. 

“I could take you to the hospital? Do you need a doctor?“ Ryan asks carefully. 

“No!“ is the immediate response, “no hospital.“

Another silence stretches and Ryan feels a bit clueless here. The only thing he is certain of, is that he can‘t leave this stranger behind and walk home as if nothing ever happened. He would always wonder what happened to him.

“I‘m Ryan,“ he finally says and offers his hand.

“Danny.“

The usual short form of Daniel is Dan, but Ryan is not surprised that his name isn‘t common. Nothing about that man - _Danny_ \- is. 

Danny shakes his hand and his grip is tight and dry. His eyes look extremely blue in the orange light of the sinking sun and suddenly Ryan is reminded of the time. 

“Look, the sun is going down soon. Do you have somewhere to stay tonight?“ he asks.

The face turns panicky again, Danny‘s breath comes in short and loud gasps. He just shakes his head. 

Ryan closes his eyes for a brief moment and makes a decision. 

“I might have a place for you to stay.“

He knows he can‘t tell Daisy, she would fume, probably call him reckless for inviting a total stranger into their property. Well, technically the cottage is _his_ property, so he can do with it what he wants.

Danny‘s face relaxes and he looks at Ryan with a surprised o-shaped mouth.

“Yeah?“ 

It sounds hopeful.

Ryan somehow knows deep down that this lad isn‘t dangerous, he is sure of it even though he knows him only a few minutes. 

The man is just… lost.

“Yeah,“ Ryan says, a smile spreading on his face.

~~~

Danny swallows. He doesn‘t really know what he expected, but well, surely not _that._

Ryan‘s ‘place’ is a tiny cottage, emphasis on tiny. It‘s one room with a dark wooden floor and stoney walls. There is a small recamier with dark green velvet and a bookshelf on the left side, on the right side is a table with two chairs and a stove. A huge iron monster.

No kitchen, no bathroom. No electricity.

There is only a tiny window and it is already getting dark outside, so Ryan had to light up an oil lamp. 

_A fucking oil lamp._

Danny feels like he‘s trapped in some historic movie. It‘s all so bloody unreal.

“Look, I know it‘s not big…“ Ryan starts and oh god! He is now apologizing for his cottage!

“No! No,“ Danny says quickly, noticing he was a bit too quiet since they entered the little house, “this is a nice place.“

And it is. For a garden shed it‘s actually cute. 

That he is struggling with how to get on without running water or electricity is his problem, not Ryan‘s. He tries a smile and hopes that his acting skills are helping him to make it look genuine, not wanting to come across like an ungrateful wanker. The truth is, he would be fucked without the other man and his generous offer.

Ryan‘s face lights up with a smile then.

“I only have this thin blanket here, but it doesn‘t get cold really at night, so you should be fine. There is a small stream behind the cottage, where you can get water.“ He walks to the shelf and pulls out a stoneware pitcher. “Here.“ Ryan puts it on the table, then he clears his throat. “Errm, there is also a closet outside.“

Danny swallows again. A closet. Probably without running water as well. 

_Be grateful. It‘s okay. It‘s not for long. Once you figured out how to go back home, you‘re gone anyway._

“Thanks,“ he says and looks at Ryan.

What a genuinely nice bloke, that he‘s helping a stranger just like that. 

The dog,

_Lola_

is sniffing on his leg again and Danny goes down on his knees, ignoring the pain in his leg, and strokes the short fur. The dog wiggles excitedly with her whole body, twisting and turning under his touch to get as many cuddles as possible. Danny tickles her side and she‘s rolling over quickly, demanding belly rubs. 

_Eager little thing!_

He complies obediently, almost the whole dog disappears under his palm.

“I‘m sorry to interrupt, but…“ Ryan‘s quiet voice reaches his ear, “we gotta go now, it‘s already dark outside.“

For a moment it was all gone. For a tiny little moment, it was just Danny and the doggy. Now the mind-boggling reality hits him like a brick again.

He‘s stuck in the fucking past. Danny gets up again. “Sure, yeah, okay.“

“C‘mon Lo, we‘re going.“ The dog is still on her back, obviously irritated about the sudden stop of the strokes, barking out twice in protest. “No, stop that,“ Ryan tells her off. “Home! Now!“

Danny bites on the inside of his cheeks to stop himself from smiling. Despite this nightmarish situation he‘s in, seeing that huge man talking to his tiny dog like that is actually kinda… endearing. 

As if Lola understood him, she rolls over, gets up and shakes her little body. 

Ryan walks towards the door and Danny suddenly wants to ask him to stay, to not leave him alone here. His throat tightens painfully. He stays silent though, of course, doesn‘t dare to ask. _Can‘t_ ask that man who is still a stranger after all.

“Bye then,“ Ryan turns around and gives him a small smile. “I‘ll come by tomorrow, yeah?“

Danny just nods in return, not quite trusting his voice right now. And then, just like that, the other man and Lola are gone. The wooden door falls shut with a noise that sounds deafening in the sudden silence. 

And then the only sound is his own breathing. His own breathing that becomes quicker and louder with every inhale. 

The encounter with Ryan and the Chihuahua was a nice distraction, but now he is alone with his mind again. 

God, Danny hates those moments where his anxiety takes over, controls his whole body against his will and no matter how hard he tries to fight it, it‘s overwhelming. 

He walks to the small sofa and sits down. The metal springs are squeaking underneath him.

The linen clothes are scratching on his skin. He feels the wounds from his operation itching. 

_It’s okay. It’s not for long._

Danny looks through the tiny window, sees the moon rising. He doesn‘t know how late it is. He only knows that he won‘t find sleep tonight as it is. 

With a little sigh he carefully pulls his legs up and hugs them. It‘s not cold, in fact it‘s still humid and warm, just like Ryan said, but Danny shivers regardless. 

~~~

Holding his breath, he turns the key as slowly as humanly possible, the door unlocks with a quiet click and Ryan slips into the house. He quickly pulls off his shoes and tiptoes on his socks towards the staircase. It’s pitchblack and he nearly trips over Lola on his way.

“Shhh,” he hisses in her direction, hoping that Daisy is deep asleep by now. 

He is not that lucky. Light flickers above him and when he looks up, he sees his fiancé standing in her nightdress on the landing with a candle in her hand. Her eyes are narrowed, her mouth only a thin line. Ryan knows she’s fuming.

“Ryan Alexander Hawley!” she says and he hates when she uses his middle name. He isn’t 6 years old anymore for heaven’s sake. “Where have you been?”

He sighs and goes up, not bothering with being quiet anymore and curses his stupid brain. He should have come up with something by now, some plausible explanation he could tell Daisy and then they could head off to bed and cuddle until they’re both asleep. The problem is, he is bad at lying, like really bad. It was his problem since he was a kid. His cheeks would start burning and he could never hold his mother’s gaze, it only took her about two seconds to figure him out. 

“Sorry, I had a problem at the garden and I took care of it,” he says vaguely-

_It’s not a lie, technically...._

-and gives her a peck on her cheek when he walks past her. 

“What’s that supposed to mean? ‘A problem at the garden’... what problem can there possibly be? Cat poo on your strawberries?” Daisy asks irritatedly, following him into their bedroom. 

The sarcastic undertone doesn’t go unnoticed. It’s no secret between them that she thinks his allotment is a waste of time, that he should rather pick up his work again. Ryan takes a deep breath and starts unbuttoning his shirt, with his back still turned to her. He is glad he doesn’t have to face her right now, fears of what she might see in his eyes. 

“Well, as I said, I already took care of it,” he grits out.

He hears her nightdress rustling behind him, feels her moving and then her warm body is pressed against him and her arms sneak around his waist.

“I was just so worried about you,” she breathes against his back which makes him shudder. Ryan feels his anger slowly melting under her gentle touch. “After that horrible story of that bleeding man at the side of the road…” 

He closes his eyes. Danny made it to town gossip of course. An injured man, covered in blood, coming basically out of nowhere… that was the stuff for lots of dinner talk.

“I already started thinking you might be hurt, lying somewhere in the ditch as well…” Daisy’s voice gets shakier with every word before it finally breaks.

He turns around quickly, hugs her tightly and strokes over her back soothingly. 

“Don’t be silly, Dee, I’m alright.” 

She sniffs against his chest and nods. Ryan pulls back a bit, just to lean in and give her a kiss. Daisy stops him an inch before the lips would meet. Her eyes are still watery, flicking between his own, then she smiles.

“Wash yourself first, yeah? I’ll wait in bed,” she whispers.

_Right. Sure. I’m dirty._

He straightens his back again and shifts away from her, embarrassed and self-conscious. It was a long and hot day, he probably doesn’t smell very nice. 

When he slips under the blanket ten minutes later, Daisy is on her side, facing the wall. Ryan shifts over on her side and curls himself against her back. He loves how she feels against him, so soft and warm, perfectly fitting like a piece of a puzzle. Breathing her in, he plasters little pecks at the back of her neck. 

She doesn’t react.

“Daisy?” he asks quietly and lifts his head. 

Her breathing is deep and even. She’s asleep. With a little sigh he rolls on his back and stares at the ceiling. He startles when suddenly Lola jumps on the bed. 

“Shh, Lo, you know the missus gets angry when she sees you in bed,” he whispers.

The dog flops herself down right next to Ryan’s biceps with a quiet huff. The tiny furry body is pressing against him and he can’t hold back the small smile that’s tugging on his lips.

He turns on his side and cuddles her. As if she could sense that this is exactly what he needs right now. God, he loves that little beast so much.

It takes a while, but eventually Ryan’s eyelids are getting heavy and he yawns tiredly. The last thought before he drifts off is if the man in his cottage would be asleep by now as well.

~~~

The backpack is cutting into his shoulders and the sweat is already running down his forehead although it is only 9am. Damn, this summer is just way too hot. 

Ryan is walking a bit faster today than usual, his bag is stuffed with a plate, a pot, cutlery, glasses, salt and pepper, candles, matches, oil, papers, pencils - he simply grabbed everything he could think of that might be useful for Danny before he left his house earlier. 

The man was constantly on his mind since he woke up. Ryan is wondering how that night went, if he slept alright, how he was feeling today. Yesterday Danny seemed so upset, hopefully today is going to be better. 

When his allotment appears between the fields and trees, Ryan speeds up even more. He doesn’t know why, really. Maybe the thought of not being alone out here is nice for a change. 

When he finally reaches the cottage a huge grin is on his face and he yanks the door open.

“Good morning, Danny! I thought, you-” the words get stuck in his throat.

The house is empty and Danny is gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?  
> Comments are love ❤️

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know if you like this and if I should continue?!  
> Leave a comment or a ❤️!


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